before him, with a chart of the gold mines of Peru and Mexico at his
back; a young gentleman, who has been unfortunate, is standing before
him in an attitude of despondency, little encouraged by the friendly
advice of the hunks whose assistance he has vainly implored: 'Ah,
my young friend, I told you what it would all come to, but you have
brought it all on yourself. I'll not ask you to sit down, because you
seem in a hurry; however, I'll give you my advice: as you say you are
not worth a guinea, I'd advise you to quit London, and purchase a small
estate in the country!'
FOOTNOTES:
[7] A learned dancing-master in the University of Oxford, who taught
politeness also, and published a book upon that subject, fixed the
same period for passing a stile in some cases that is here judiciously
recommended for the payment of an ostler. His precept was that a
well-bred man meeting another on the opposite side of a stile ought on
no account to be persuaded to go over first. The name of this ingenious
author was Towle. Had two zealous pupils of his school met each other
at a stile, it is supposed they must have concluded their lives on the
premises.
[8] James Ripley, many years ostler at the "Red Lion," who published a
volume of letters.
[9] George Stevens, the originator of the 'Lecture on Heads,' was a
very indifferent actor, but a man of humorous parts, and in himself
was considered, by his contemporaries, most entertaining company. The
idea of the lecture was given him by a country carpenter, who made the
character-blocks which formed the subjects of illustration. It proved
an extraordinary success in the hands of the originator. He carried
it about England, through the States of America, and, on his return,
to Ireland; and managed to net some ten thousand pounds by this lucky
venture. After he retired more than one actor attempted it, with poor
results. Lewis was the most successful of Stevens's imitators, and he
had made such arrangements with the author as entitled the latter to a
royalty for the use of his 'Lecture on Heads.' It probably derived its
principal charm from the style of its delivery. Read in cold blood, its
brilliancy and point are by no means startling.
1809.
_The Discovery._ Etched by Rowlandson, 1798. Republished, Jan. 1808-9.
_January 15, 1809._ _The Head of the Family in Good Humour._ Published
by Tegg, Woodward del., Rowlandson sc.--John Bull, a very giant among
a race of pigmies, is surrounded by the heads of the different states,
who are all hurling out threats against his chances of peace. Napoleon
is thundering for _Ships, Colonies, and Commerce_. The Muscovite
is denouncing: 'Russian vengeance attend John Bull.' Holland is
blustering: 'I'll eternally smoke him.' Tom Paine is offering this
warning: 'Let him tremble at the name of America.' The other potentates
are following up these threats with valedictions of their own:
'Beware of Prussia;' 'Austria will never pardon him;' 'Spanish fury
overtake him;' and 'Let him beware of Denmark.' John Bull is smiling
good-naturedly at all these empty vapourings: 'Don't make such a riot,
you little noisy brats, all your bustle to me is no more than a storm
in a teacup!'
_January 15, 1809._ _The Old Woman's Complaint, or the Greek Alphabet._
Published by T. Tegg, 111 Cheapside.--An old country dame has called
upon a pedagogue, with a fanciful grievance, to make respectful
complaints against the dominie's scholars, who, cap in hand, and
satchel on back, are making their entrance into the learned presence,
behind their accuser. The schoolmaster, who wears a red night-cap, and
slippers, is made to say: 'Good woman, you are always making complaints
against my scholars; what have they done to offend you now?' 'Please
your honour's worship, they followed me up and down, and said one to
another, _at her, beat her, damn her, pelt her!_ and a great deal more
that I do not recollect.' The young pupils are explaining the old
lady's misconception: 'Indeed, sir, we were only repeating our Greek
alphabet, in order to get it quite perfect; what the old woman heard
was only _Alpha, Beta, Gamma, Delta_, and so on to the conclusion!'
_February 1, 1809._ _A Traveller refreshed in a Stagnant Pool, after
the Fatigues of a Dusty Day's Journey._ Published by R. Ackermann,
Strand.
_February 1, 1809._ _Mrs. Bundle in a Rage; or too late for the Stage._
Published by R. Ackermann, Strand.
_February 1, 1809._ _Launching a Frigate._ Newton del., Rowlandson
fecit. Published by T. Tegg, 67 Cheapside.--A trim nymph, very
fashionably dressed, is starting on her travels from an hotel,
situated, as we recognise, from the notice on the wall, near Portsmouth
Dock. The figure of the promenader is drawn with care, and is perfectly
in Rowlandson's most telling manner; behind the curled, feathered,
and blooming damsel, is an ancient and colossal harridan, bedizened
with showy finery, who is supposed to have launched the fair charmer.
Characteristic glimpses of Portsmouth are given in the background of
the picture.
_March 20, 1809._ _A Mad Dog in a Coffee House._ Published by T.
Rowlandson, 1 James Street, Adelphi.--The advent of a nondescript
animal, supposititiously assumed to be a ferocious mad dog, has
produced the utmost terror and confusion amongst the grave frequenters
of a mercantile coffee-house, somewhat after the model of _Garraway's_.
All the city brokers, and pillars of 'change found therein, are scared
out of their sober senses; some, like the little Jew in the corner, are
paralysed with fear; others are trying to creep under the tables; a few
are seeking escape by the door, which they are effectually blocking;
and groups of affrighted fugitives are endeavouring to gain the refuge
of the staircase. A select knot have made for the bar, and are flinging
themselves _pell-mell_ over the counter; the chimney, and similar
places of refuge, are eagerly sought; tables are mounted; comfortable
citizens are thrown on their backs, like turtles, and trodden on, while
the pressure of viler bodies above is expressing a stream of specie
from the well-filled pockets of the overthrown. A cat, her tail swollen
to abnormal proportions, is making a frantic rush into the midst of
the cowering poltroons under the table. Rowlandson generally manages
to introduce certain advertisements appropriate to his subjects, and
a notice stuck on the wall of the coffee-house conveys the following
piece of shipping intelligence: _For the Brazils, 'The Cerberus,'
Captain Pointer. Burden 300 tons. Laying off Barking Creek. Enquire of
Benjamin Bell, Barge Yard, Broker_.
[Illustration: A MAD DOG IN A COFFEE HOUSE.]