Rowlandson sculp. Published by T. Tegg (150).--A Scotchman is led
before a country justice, charged with drunkenness; the magistrate's
wife is seated by the side of her lord, and is much shocked at the
learned Caledonian's defence; bowing low, bonnet in hand, the Scot is
throwing himself on the clemency of the court: 'I own, your honour, I
was a little inebriated, but your worship knows _Nemo mortalium omnibus
hooris saupit_.' 'What's that you say, fellow,' retorts the magistrate,
'about a sawpit?--a very improper place to go with such company. I
wonder you are not ashamed to mention such a thing, and before my wife
too. But, however, as it is your first offence, I will discharge you
this time; but never come here with such a story again!'
1812 (?). _Preaching to some Purpose._--An open-air meeting of rustic
worshippers. Great astonishment is pictured on the upturned faces of
the expectant congregation. The preacher is raised on an extemporised
pulpit; he is clad in black, but in the rear of his nether garment
appears a formidable rent, which his hand is not sufficiently broad
to conceal. He is earnestly addressing his perplexed hearers to the
following purpose: 'Dearly beloved, before I begin my discourse, I
have three things to inform you of. The first thing I know, and you do
not know. The next thing you know, and I do not know,--and the third
thing none of us know, viz., in my way here to preach, crossing Farmer
Hobson's stile, I tore my breeches,--the extent of the rent I know, and
you do not know. Secondly, what you are willing to subscribe to get
them repaired you know, and I do not know. And lastly, what Tim Snip,
the tailor, will charge for the job, _that none of us know_!'
1812 (?). _New Invented Elastic Breeches._ H. Nixon invt., T.
Rowlandson sculp.--Two tailors are using considerable manual force
trying to pull a customer into a pair of close-spring breeches. The
scene is taking place on the premises of the inventor and manufacturer
of the patent articles in question.
_No date._ 1812 (?). _A Visit to the Doctor._ Woodward del., Rowlandson
fecit. Published by T. Tegg.--The consulting-room of a learned
physician; an imposing bookcase fills the background. The doctor's
man has just shown up a comfortable-looking couple, who have called
for the benefit of the physician's advice--the practitioner is one of
the old school--full-bottomed wig, powder, and pigtail, a learnedly
long-skirted square-cut suit, lace frill and ruffles, huge spectacles,
and a professional gold-headed cane held up to the nose; he is standing
on the hearthrug, warming his learned back at the fireplace; above the
mantelpiece is a bust of Galen. The patients, who are evidently robust
country folks, thus set forth their case:--'Do you see, Doctor, my dame
and I be come to ax your advice--we both of us eat well, and drink
well, and sleep well,--yet still we be somehow queerish!' The Doctor is
equal to the emergency and prepared to alter all this promptly. 'You
eat well, you drink well, and you sleep well,--very good. You were
perfectly right in coming to me, for depend upon it I will give you
something that shall do away with all these things!'
1812 (?). _Puff Paste._--A fat cook is rolling out pudding paste;
around her board are spread _codling tarts, apple dumplings, and batter
puddings_; a footman is embracing her ample shoulders, and familiarly
patting her under the chin.